Pride Lands Online
King of the Hard Drive

[Morning on the motherboard. The capacitors flare up, microchips buzz to life, and the bright golden light of the "power" indicator shines over the beautiful silicon valley of circuitry. The majestic buzzer shouts it’s exotic call for all to hear. *Beeeep!* It exclaims. The CPU begins to process all the needs of it’s fellow components, doing so without hesitation or argument. All the residents of the PCLands peer up towards the huge object above them, as it basks in the light of the LED. HD Rock, as it is called, is where the prominent residents of the PCLands live. The Files themselves inhabit HD Rock.]

[Today is the day when a new king is to be anointed. All the chips and electrical components gaze at HD Rock as the King Netscape and the Queen Plug-In watch the shaman of the PCLands, Scandisk, hold the newborn Opera up high. Opera is anointed in LED light, as Netscape and Plug-In nuzzle each other warmly. All the PCLands explodes into joy and rapture, as they call out with praise for the newborn Prince. In fact, the only one absent is King Netscape’s jealous brother, Internet Explorer. He sits in his cluster of HD Rock, sulking over the loss of his future kingship, and plotting in his mind of how he might regain it.]

[One half a year later…]

[Opera comes barreling into IE’s cluster, full of joy.]

Opera: Hey uncle IE! Guess what?

IE: I despise guessing games. How about some Quake2 deathmatch?

Opera: Heh… I’m going to be king of HD Rock. My Dad just showed me the whole PCLands. And I’m gonna ruuuule it all. Heh heh!

IE: Well, forgive me for not initiating for joy. A few bad bytes, you know.

Opera: Hey uncle IE! When I’m king, what’ll that make you?

IE: Windows99.

Opera: Hehe! You’re so weird!

IE: You have no idea. So your father showed you the whole kingdom, did he?

Opera: Everything.

IE: He didn’t show you what’s beyond the directory with the name of "Danger" did he?

Opera: Well, no. He said I can’t go there.

IE: And he’s absolutely right. It’s far too dangerous. Only the braves applications go there.

Opera: Well I’m brave! What’s out there?

IE: I’m sorry Opera I just can’t tell you.

Opera: Well why not?

IE: I don’t want anything happening to my favorite nephew!

Opera: Yeah right. I’m your only nephew.

IE: All the more reason for me to be protective. A collection of viruses is no place for a young prince… oops!

Opera: A collection of what?! Woah!

IE: Oh dear, I’ve said too much! Promise me one thing… promise me you will never go there?

Opera: No problem!

IE: There’s a good browser! You run along now and have fun! And remember, it’s our little secret!

[Opera bounds out of the cluster, and goes to find his best friend TheLook-Plug. He comes across her, right in the middle of getting chkdsk done by her mother, MIDI-Plug.]

Opera: Hey Look-Plug!

Look-Plug: Opperrra! Can’t you see I’m in the middle of a chkdsk?!

[Queen Plug-In is above Opera, and grabs him.]

Queen: And it’s time for your scanning too!

Opera: No! Accck! Mom! You’re messing up my cache!

[The Queen smiles a bit. Opera whispers a bit to Look-Plug.]

Opera: I found this really cool place. Wanna go?

Queen: So where is this really cool place?

Opera: Oh… uh… Around the RAM.

Look-Plug: The RAM?! What’s so great about the RAM?

Opera: I’ll show you when we get there…

Look-Plug: Oh… Mom, can I go with Opera?

MIDI-Plug: Hmm… I don’t know. What do you think, Queen Plug?

Queen: Well… It’s alright with me.

Look-Plug and Opera: Yeah!

[Look-Plug and Opera bound off towards the RAM, and then after they’ve had enough, then quietly trod towards the "Danger" directory.]

Opera: Look… we’re here…

Look-Plug: Oooh… creepy.

[Look-Plug peers forward at a large lost-chain of data.]

Look-Plug: I wonder if there’s any data still left in there.

Opera: There’s only one way to know. C’mon let’s go check it out.

[Suddenly, without warning, the King’s majordomo, StatusMonitor, interrupts as he enters the directory.]

StatusMonitor: Stop! The only checking out you will be doing will be to check out of here!

Opera: {sigh} Aw, man!

StatusMonitor: We’re waaay beyond the boundaries of the PCLands!

Opera: Heh… look! The little Monitor Baby is scaaared.

StatusMonitor: That’s MR. Monitor Baby to you, speedy! We are all in very real danger!

Opera: Danger… ha! I look on the wild side. I delete danger. Hahahahaha!

[Suddenly, evil laughing can be heard from the recesses of the directory. Three viruses come out to greet the gawking applications.]

Stealth.B.Virus: Well well well Trojan.C, what have we here?

Trojan.C: Hmm… I dunno! What do you think, Ed.A?

Ed.A: Teehee hee hee mwahaha!

Trojan.A: Yeah, just what I was thinking! A couple of TRESSPASSERS!

StatusMonitor: And quite by accident, I’ll assure you.

[Stealth puts some bytes down and stops Status from going any further.]

Stealth: Wait wait wait… I know you! You’re Netscape’s little stooooge!

Status: I, madam, am the King’s majordomo!

Trojan: And what would that make you?

Opera: The future king!

Stealth: Do you know what we do to kings who step out of their partition?

Opera: Puh… you can’t do anything to me!

Status: Heh! Technically, they can. We are on their land!

Opera: But Status, you told me they were nothing but stupid corrupted crosslinked damaged troublemakers!

Status: Ix-Nay on the Orrupted-Cay!

Trojan: Who you callin’ Orrupted-Cay?!

Status: Oh my my! Look at the LED! It’s time to go!

Stealth: What’s the hurry? We’d LOOVE you to stick around for a format!

[Status panics and begins to scurry away, Opera and Look-Plug close behind. The viruses tag along, chasing them at top speed. Trojan catches up with Status and grabs him by the header.]

Status: Aaaacck!

[The viruses trap Look-Plug and Opera in a corner, and get ready to infect them, when out of nowhere, Netscape comes and begins to execute Norton Anti-Virus on them.]

Stealth and Trojan: Yeeeeaaaahhhgg!! We’re sorry! Really!

Netscape: If you EVER come near my son again…

Stealth: Oh this is YOUR son?!

Trojan: Oh I… I… I didn’t know that! Did you?

Stealth: No! Did you?!

Trojan: No!

Stealth: Of course not!

[The pause.]

Trojan and Stealth: Ed?

[Ed.A nods furiously, and Netscape executes AV again. The three viruses scramble off, squealing.]

Opera: Dad, I…

Netscape: You deliberately disobeyed me!

Opera: Dad, I’m… I’m sorry…

Netscape: Let’s go home!

[All three applications trod slowly out of the "Danger" directory… and in a nearby cluster, IE looks down with an evil gaze.]

Text Version
Author: Joseph Toscano
HTML by Thumper

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