Pride Lands Online
This Issue's Feature Page: The First Church of Simba
Special Thanks to Saint David Morris for his help!

Creater: David Braun
E-Mail Address:


With great images and awesome multi-coloration, this page is not only easy to navigate, but also FUN to navigate. There's only one drawback that I can find: You have to be able to support tables to view any of it well. Beware for jokes and misconceptions that you may have, I don't want to have to be charged any Hail Sarabis by the Grand Pumbaa (the "Pope" of the Church) for a bad review!

Also, please do not get offended: This is a religion like ice cream. He's mixing it up until he found something he likes. It's VERY light-hearted and up-beat, and those are words from the mouths of Saints of the FCOS.


With a great image on the front page and an easy-to-navigate table of links to various pages, this is by far one of the best top pages I've ever seen. I commend Dave for his hours of HTML programming!

Confessional Page

Since the FCoS (First Church of Simba) does not have the ability to have an interactive confessional, they have the next best thing: Auto-lodging. There are 5 levels of sin:

Level One: Things one shouldn't do, but can accidentally, like lusting for Nala.
Level Two: Things one shouldn't do, but just does, i.e. taking your girlfriend to the Elephant Graveyard.

They go up from there, but you'll have to go there to lodge the rest of your confessions and get your pennence. Remember: Although the FCoS may forgive you for your crimes, your local authorities may not.

Also, don't forget: Every Thursday is 2-for-1 Pennence Day!


Yes, the FCoS has merchandise! You've got to see it to believe it: Sacred Apparel (clothing), Sacred Gifts (coffee mugs, watches, etc.), Sacrement Supplies (meditation beeds, incence, wine), Sacred Literature (hynmals and musings), Seasonal (Hallmark-like stuff), and Hygience (deoderant). You've really got to read these things!

There two problems that are consantly there: No Refunds and everything's always out of stock.

An Interactive Temple Tour

Saint John Burkitt did a marvelous job here with HTML. He setup an easy-to-read, what-you-see-is-what-you-get Interactive Temple down to the books in the library and the litterbox in the bathroom. Not only is it's server super-fast, each page is only about 2k, so it's really a non-stop tour! No need for tables here!

Mantra and Sacred Texts

Hare Simba           Hare Nala
Hare Simba           Hare Nala
Simba Simba         Nala Nala
Hare Hare             Hare Hare

For more explination and how to chant it, go on and check it out.

The Sacred Texts are the bible to the FCoS. These are the King Simba translated versions as seen on the Dead Elephant Scrolls, but, I'm sorry to say, only the first three have been "translated".

Wrap Up

Every page that I have not discussed is just as funny and wonderfully HTMLized as the next! Among these are:

  • Links
  • Affiliates
  • Tithes, Offerings, and Bribes
  • "The Amazing Simba Artifact"
  • A Hierarchy Chart
  • Bulletin Page: You must go here!!! It has a posting about the order of the service at The Cathedral of Our Lady of the Golden Fur
  • Rafiki's Meditation Page

Again, you must go to this page or you're missing out on something exciting! If you have any doubts that this fun little niche on the web isn't a great place to go, then you can't a true TLK fan!

Page by Aleinu, Feature Page Coordinator (

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BY: M. Markowitz, The Feature Page Coordinator,,
HTML: See above ;)