Welcome to "Dear Tenagra" The Pride Lands Online's "Dear Abby" Column Parody. Enjoy!
Hello there my fellow animal friends! You know, after working at the Pride Lands for a year and a half as a great healer, I've been getting lots of letters from some of you animals and your problems. I would love to spend some of time to share some of the more common ones that I have received.......
__________I'm a Lion who is a brother to another Lion who is about to get a big job in a few months after his wife has their cubs. He's starting to really take this very seriously and I'm left with almost nothing. What's worse, he's also calling me by another name and that has left me completely frustrated. How am I supposed to get some attention when my brother is going to become the main event?
__________Ah yes the old sibling rivalry bit. Sometimes, one must get their brother's attention by using a nickname that you can both can sing to. For example, lets say you wanted to be refereed to as "Muffin." A good way to be known for that is to eat lots of Muffin berries after you have had a good Impala feast. If that doesn't get their attention, I would suggest to help the other Lionesses in the pride and you can say when they thank you, "Nothing that ol Muffin couldn't do." Once that sticks, you and your brother will be happily together with a great name and a share of the popularity.
__________I'm a Meerkat that has a problem with a Warthog friend of mine. He's had a bad scent that has caused other animals to flee and I don't want to say anything that might hurt his feelings. I try not to have any worries about this, but how can I get around this so we can be eating bugs by midnight?
__________A good idea to this is to spread the word to the other animals that your friends bad odor is a secret weapon in getting rid of predators. I know what you are thinking, this may be lying, but in a way this has been proven to work three out of four times with skunks and when the other animals hear this explanation, they will greatly understand and will eventually like him like a brother(or a sister depending what gender you are.)
__________I'm a Hyena that has a good friendship with a couple of other fellow Hyenas. Now a days the two of them have been a little suspicious with me because all I do is quote "Just laugh at their jokes." How can I get back into the run of things without becoming the third wheel hyena of the group.
All laughed Out
Dear Mr. Laughed Out,
__________If all else fails, do a comeback of one of their jokes! To get away from becoming the third wheel of the group is to keep the joke going, Of course be sure to change the subject ever once awhile. Just like food, a joke can get old fast!
Well, I have some spells to cast, See you again next column!
*Big Baboon Hugs*
Tenagra "The Muffin"
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