KATS IN BLACK
-----KIB-----
Written By: Andrew "Mageuzi" Perrin
(with ideas from Kimya and Anneke)
Featuring:
Msondo
Kimya
Anneke
and Mageuzi
{Scene opens to a house in the middle of a street, where other houses surround it. It looks like any other house you'd find in a city or town. The shot moves closer to the house where we see that all the curtains are drawn and lights turned off. The camera moves inside the house. We hear "The Lion King" playing in the background. The camera follows the sound and enters the room where tLK is playing. We see a girl, perhaps 10 or 11, watching the movie, staring at the screen with an almost dazed look of happiness. We can see Timon on the screen.}
{All of a sudden...the television goes off. All is silent for a few seconds. It then gets light. We see the girl, and now, a big red blob of what can only be compared to a big pile of Jello...with eyes. The girl screams, and the screen goes black.}
{In Red, fading into view} Adding Timonaholics to the {fade to black} {In Red, fading into view} scum of the universe {fade to black} {In Red, fading into view} We present {fade to black} {In Red, fading into view} The KIB {fade to black}
{Scene cuts to a very high-tech room. Computers systems and monitors fill the outskirts of the room, with meerkats sitting at certain points along the system. There is a big table in the center, with about 10 chairs around it. Currently, we see two meerkats sitting at the table. They are dressed in dark, black suits. The camera moves in on them.}
Timon: So whats the latest story?
Msondo: Every person and kat with the slightest thought of becoming a Timonaholic *is* a Timonaholic. We are in a stable condition.
Timon: Sounds good. {leans back in seat} I'll get half the universe to like me no matter what the government says. {sits up in his chair} And no scum is going to stop me, either!
Msondo: You are absolutely right, sir. So far, the MIB report that there is no scum on Earth or in the near vicinity. We are safe from them.
Timon: And the government?
Msondo: We are currently working on making them Timonaholics {looks down} but it's hard.
Timon: Hard? Why?
Msondo: Well you know how politicians are...the T-Ray is having trouble getting into their brains. Plus, it makes it harder if they don't know who Timon is in the first place.
Timon: Well make the T-Ray stronger!
Msondo: With all due respect, sir, the Timon-Ray is already strong enough. If it were to be any stronger, it would *erase* their memory, never mind alter it.
Timon: Oh. That's right. I forgot about that. That's what the MIB use.
Msondo: Right.
{suddenly, a red light starts to flash and a siren goes off. Timon jumps up.}
Timon: Someone report!
Mageuzi: {turning around briefly} Sir! {turns back to the monitor to read the data coming in} We have found a code red! A Timonaholic has been converted to a Muffyholic by some scum of the universe!
Timon: {turning to Msondo} I thought you said there weren't any scum around?
Msondo: {mumbling for an answer, and looks to Mageuzi} Uzi! How authentic is this report?
Mageuzi: It was reported by Agent K, sir. Very reliable.
Msondo: {looking to Timon} Agent K, Timon. Sounds like the MIB aren't doing their jobs properly.
Timon: Well. We'll worry about that later. Lets take care of this code red, first, eh? {turning to Mageuzi} Get me Agent K on the radio, Uzi!
Mageuzi: Right away, sir!
{The KIB put their dark glasses on, and run out to a car}
Timon: I'll drive!
Msondo: Uh...with all due respect sir, didn't you crash into an Italian restaurant last month?
Timon: {stares coldly at Msondo for a few seconds, then loosens up} You're right..you drive. We don't need any more code reds than what we've got already.
{They switch sides, and get into the car. Mageuzi runs in and hands Timon the radio-phone with Agent K on the other end, and then goes away again.}
Timon: Lets go!
Msondo: Right!
{The car pulls out with a sharp start...}
Msondo: Sorry. I still need my license...
Timon: {eyes widen} WHAT?!
{...but despite that they get on their way.}
Timon: {into radio-phone} Agent K?
Kimya (Agent K): {audio only} Yes?
Timon: {into radio-phone} What's the current situation?
{Cut to Kimya talking into a cellular phone outside a house with one car.}
Kimya: I am trying to stay out of site, sir, but from what I can see, it seems that an innocent, recently-founded, Timonaholic got abducted by some scum and had her mind altered into being a Muffyholic.
Timon: {audio only} What's happening now?
Kimya: Nothing. She is continuing to watch the movie.
Timon: {audio only} What scene?
Kimya: {sneaks closer so she can see the image on the screen} Simba and Nala meet. Your famous one-liner is about to come up.
Timon: {audio only} Is she reciting my lines?
Kimya: No.
Timon: {audio only} Then it is true. She *has* become a Muffyholic. We'll be right there.
{Both hang up. Cut to inside of car.}
Msondo: So whats happening?
Timon: Seems the damage is done.
Msondo: No scum to be seen?
Timon: Agent K didn't report it.
Msondo: Sounds suspicous to me.
Timon: I thought so, too. They can't have just left her alone like that. Something isn't right.
Msondo: Sounds like a perfect case for the KIB, huh? {smiles}
{Cut to house with Agent K standing outside. The car pulls up. The two kats get out and run over to K. They shake paws briefly.}
Msondo: Hi K. {grins}
Kimya: {smiling} Hi Mson.
Timon: {rolls eyes} Knock it off you two, we've got a code red here not a smiling contest!
Msondo: {rolls eyes to K} Right, sir. {turns to Timon} What do you see?
Timon: Same thing K described to me. A girl and her tLK. Come on, lets investigate.
{The three kats go to the door and ring the doorbell. After waiting a few seconds, the girl answers the door. The kats look in and notice that the TV and VCR are now off, as if she hadn't been watching the movie.}
Mson, Kim and Timon: Hi. We're the KIB, here to investigate a code red.
Anneke (the girl): Hey! {points to Timon} Aren't you that marrakeet in the movie?
Timon: No. I'm the meerkat in that movie!
Anneke: That's what I said!
Timon: No, you said marrakeet...
Anneke: Meerkat!
Timon: Marrakeet!
Anneke: MEERKAT!
Timon: Ok, Ok, meerkat. May ask you a question? {Anneke nods} What is your favorite character?
Anneke: Mufasa.
{Msondo jumps out from behind the other two kats and jabs Anneke with a needle. She ceases to fight back.}
Timon: Good job Mson...when she wakes up K can do her stuff.
Msondo: Right, sir.
Timon: What we need to do now, Mson, is find out if the scum is still around!
Msondo: Ok..where do you want to try first?
Timon: Follow me...
{The two kats exit. Anneke starts to come to.}
Anneke: Wha--what happened?
Kimya: Nothing...you dozed off for a bit.
{Kimya sits in front of Anneke}
Kimya: Look into my eyes...
{Anneke blinks, then looks into Kimya's eyes} {Kimya holds up a black device in front of Anneke's eyes and all of a sudden it blinks a bright white light}
Kim: Now... who's your favorite TLK character? Anneke: Eh... er... Mu-Mufasa...
Kimya: {shakes her head} No, no.. look at Timon {shows Timon plushie}
{Anneke stares at the plushie for a moment}
Kimya: Look at him.. you can't resist..
Anneke: I can't resist..
Kimya: Now.. who's your favorite TLK character? You KNOW it's Timon! Timon is the coolest thing on two legs!
Anneke: Timon Timon Timon Timon Timon is the coolest thing on two legs...
Kimya: {smiles} Now, you see? You can wake up.. NOW!
Anneke: {wakes up} Aw, my head..
Kimya: {smiles innocently} Are you ok?
{Anneke nods and walks with Kimya} Anneke: You know what? Timon is the coolest thing on two legs...
{Kimya grins, then talks in her cellular phone.}
Kimya: The Muffy situation here has been handled, guys.
{No answer}
Kimya: Guys?
{At the front door...}
Kimya: You wait here, Anneke, I need to see what my partners are up to.
{Kimya runs to the road and looks both ways, trying to see any trace of the two kats. Looking down the road she can see something sparkle in the moonlight. She runs over to it, and it is the black device she was holding earlier, only this one isn't hers. It is Timon's. She looks around and sees something in the bushes. She runs over and sees the two kats.}
Kimya: Hey! What happened?!
{The two kats look at her with dazed looks}
Timon: Who---who are you?
Kimya: {stands up} I'm Kimya! Part of the KIB! Same as you!
Timon: {coming around} Huh? No. No, I'm not part of the KIB! I'm part of the KIB!
Kimya: {confused} That's what I said!
Timon: No. We're part of the Kings in Black, not the Kats in Black.
Kimya: The Ki-- Who's your favorite tLK character, Timon?
Timon: Mu--Mufasa!
{Kimya stands up with a fixed stare on Timon. She then glances at Msondo, coming to now as well}
Kimya: Mson! Who's your favorite tLK character?
Msondo: {rubs head} Huh? Wha--uh..T...T...
Kimya: Yes?! Who?!
Msondo: T...Th...That king guy...Mufasa...
Kimya: {slapping her paw to her face} Oh no... {putting paw down} Come on guys, in the car...
{They drive back to K[ats]IB headquarters and Kimya drops the two off there to get re-Timon aware. This goes through successfully, and soon they are back to there...uh...normal selves.}
Msondo: I said I liked Mufasa?!
Kimya: Yes! You were totally out of it!
Msondo: Geez! We need to find that scum! Now!
Kimya: I agree! Come on, lets see if Uzi has found any...
{The two walk over to Mageuzi's computer station and stand behind him. Mageuzi looks towards them then back at the computer, then quickly turns back to see them.}
Mageuzi: Hey guys!! How are you?
Mson&Kim: Fine!
Mageuzi: {smiling to Mson} I heard you were a Muffyholic for a bit, before...
Msondo: Yeah, yeah, drop the subject, I don't want to talk about it! We're here to see if you can find the scum that could have done this to me, Timon and Anneke.
Mageuzi: Well, {turning back to computer screen} I had it run a scan for some a couple minutes ago, and the results are just starting to come in now, but I don't see any--wait--its picking up a weak possibility...over on 82nd street...
Msondo: {looking to Kim} Lets go! {Msondo runs off on his way to the car}
Kimya: Geez he really wants to get them! Oh well, thanks Uzi.
Mageuzi: {smiling to Kim} You're welcome.
{Kimya jogs off to catch up with Msondo, Mageuzi watching them, smiling, and shaking his head}
Mageuzi: {to himself} Geez, those two are a couple of krazy kats sometimes. But what am I saying that for? Heck! I'm talking to myself!
{Cut to 82nd street, where the car is pulling up to park. The two kats jump out and look around. All of a sudden, a big red monster, like the one seen before, jumps out at them.}
Kimya: Quick! The scum-inator!
Msondo: {chuckles} The what?
Kimya: That big gun thing that gets rid of scum...don't ask! This is NOT the time to ask!!
Msondo: Right! {runs over to the car and pulls out two guns and runs back over to the monster} Glasses on!
Mson&Kim: {pull black sunglasses down} We are the KIB!! Get ready to taste Timon's poisiness grubs!!
{They shoot, and the rays hit the monster. After a few seconds, it shrinks, and then, a big flash of red light. They stop shooting. In place of the monster, they see at least twenty red grubs, wiggling all over the place.}
Kimya: I wonder if he thought we were joking when we said grubs would get him?
Msondo: {staring at the grubs} Not now. {smiles, and looks to Kimya}
{Kimya walks over to the now dead scum}
Kimya: Hey...what's this?
{She bends down and picks up what appears to be string.}
Kimya: What's this, Mson?
Msondo: Hmm. It appears to be...a shoelace! And...{examining closer} what's this written here, on the side?
Kimya: Hmm...it appears to be Ankle...
Msondo: No..no..it's longer than that...um....ANNEKE!!
Kimya: Anneke! {looking at shoelace...then the pile of grubs} Uh-oh...come on!
{They run to Anneke's house where he is inside watching tLK again. It just finished. They ring the bell, and Anneke answers}
Kimya: Quick, Anneke, what is your favorite tLK character?!
Anneke: Huh? Oh..uh..Mufasa!
Msondo: {staring at Anneke} The scum got him. Again. {turns to Kimya} Well, better work your magic.
Kimya: Why don't you? I did it last time...
Msondo: Yeah, but I know you like doing it.
Kimya: {chuckles} Ah, you know me too well, Mson. OK.
{Kimya and Anneke walk over to the center of the room and sit down in front of each other. Msondo waits at the door.}
Kimya: Look into my eyes...
{Anneke blinks, then looks into Kimya's eyes} {Kimya holds up a black device in front of Anneke's eyes and all of a sudden it blinks a bright white light}
Kim: Now... who's your favorite TLK character? Anneke: Eh... er... Mu-Mufasa...
Kimya: {shakes her head} No, no.. look at Timon {shows Timon plushie}
{Anneke stares at the plushie for a moment}
Kimya: Look at him.. you can't resist..
Anneke: I can't resist..
Kimya: Now.. who's your favorite TLK character? You KNOW it's Timon! Timon is the coolest thing on two legs!
Anneke: Timon Timon Timon Timon Timon is the coolest thing on two legs...no! No! Mufasa is the greatest!!
Kimya: {frowns} No! Timon...just look at Timon!
Anneke: Timon...the coolest...thing...but...Mufasa...he's...
Kimya: No "buts"! Timon! TIMON!!
Anneke: Timon...the coolest thing...
Kimya: Right! Ok...wake up...NOW!
Anneke: {wakes up} Aw, my head..
Kimya: {smiles innocently} Are you ok?
{Anneke nods and stands up with Kimya}
Kimya: So? Who is your favorite tLK character?
Anneke: Didn't I tell you already?
Kimya: No...you were about to tell me...
Anneke: Oh. Well, Timon isn't too bad...but I still like Mufasa...
{Kimya, shocked, turning to Msondo}
Msondo: Looks like that scum got stronger before we killed it. Seems its grip is a bit stronger than ours. But he does realize that Timon isn't too bad. Perhaps in a few years she'll change her mind and become a Timonaholic.
Kimya: And if she doesn't?
Msondo: We'll try again. Or at least try and enhance the feelings of liking Timon.
{Kimya nods, and says goodbye to Anneke, who is completely confused by the conversation they just had. Kimya and Msondo leave.}
Kimya: Well, Mson, there is another scum defeated.
Msondo: Yup. It's a tough job, but someone has got to do it.
Kimya: Uh-huh. The Kats in Black. {smiles}
{Msondo smiles back.}
{The camera stays on them, watching them walk to the car. They get in, and drive away. The grubs can still be seen in the distance. Fade out.}
The End. :))
Author: Andrew "Mageuzi" Perrin
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